I will continue where I left off this past week, and describe to you the different “seasons” of my life. I kept it as simple as I could, and highlighted some areas that we’ve all have mostly gone through at one time or another.
BUT first, I will say this right now, and it stands for anything else I’ve already written and will write in the future–I am NOT here to ever put down, insult, or belittle anyone that I’ve been involved with in past relationships, friendships, workplaces, churches, etc.–wherever I’ve met people, how long or short they were in my life, etc. These people were at one point or another part of my life. We’ve moved on with our lives, and that’s ok. But I have to make mention of them in the most simple way, not divulging any specifics, for obvious reasons. I’m just using part of my LIFE story to describe certain times, areas in my life, and circumstances that’s happened to me, to get my point across to the reader. Some of these people I still have in my life to this day; most I do not. But I’ve also learned to LIVE , LET GO and FORGIVE, because honestly, in the end, that’s the best course of action we can take, in order TO move forward in our lives.
Ok, enough of that–here is the second part of my blog:
Let’s count together the amount of “seasons” I’ve had, shall we? My FIRST🌱was my childhood—it was really awesome, by the way; I had good parents, and was given a good home to live in, and great family to be around. Being adopted into a decent family was like hitting the lottery; the Lord saw to it for one reason or another, to put me with certain family members that eventually would be close to me until this very day. My SECOND🌿was going from a teenager to an adult; that was rough, since my mom just didn’t want to lose the “little girl” she was raising—typical parental issues🙄of not wanting to “let go”. This is also the time I was dating on and off, and had my ﬁrst two real long-term relationships as well. I actually was encouraged by my mother, to “play the ﬁeld”—just go out and date, and not get serious with anyone. That obviously for the most part, was ignored. 🙄😑 My THIRD🌵season, was my relationship with my ﬁrst husband. All those years (and also those beyond that, since we did have a child together) seemed to follow me into every facet of my life, because I became a mother to my daughter Ashley during that relationship. My FOURTH🍃season, was in between my ﬁrst and second husbands, which lasted about two years. I struggled so much to listen to the Lord, who back THEN was trying to get me on that RIGHT PATH, and to WAIT on Him for the right man; I just wouldn’t do it still, even after all the hell I put myself through with my ﬁrst husband; I still was too stubborn, lazy and prideful to give everything I needed to, over to the Lord to bring it back to where HE intended it to be in my life. In that short amount of time to supposedly be AWAY from men and concentrating on the Lord, I ended up being involved in one way or another, three men during that time.😞😒🙁 It just made my life ﬁlled with more emotional turmoil and regrets.
So, those unnecessary “seasons” kept coming— the FIFTH🌲one with my second husband, which lasted for technically 13 years, although we lost a few months in there from the break-up. 🌾The SIXTH one was when I came back to NJ, after letting my second husband know I was getting a divorce from him. Unfortunately, this “season” of getting myself in order mentally and emotionally did NOT last long at all, for I found myself emotionally engaged in yet another “season”😳😫🍂 (SEVENTH)which should NEVER have happened, not only because technically I was still married, but it was like going from the frying pan back into the ﬁre!!🤮 Sometimes, I really DIDN’T think before I acted, and didn’t consider the other hearts involved. Thankfully, that “season” lasted but several weeks.😣😞
STILL I managed to get involved ONCE AGAIN, in another relationship—bringing on the EIGHTH 🍁 “season” which also still happened for most of the relationship while I was still not fully divorced, but also this one the Lord ALLOWED to be the 📚“bookend” 📚to my “third” season’s relationship. This one lasted just a hair under TWO YEARS, and many major heartaches occurred that never should have been dealt with; but I managed to not only be with this person, but allowed myself to live with him as well, and soon became involved in taking care of someone who was an raging alcoholic, cutter and who had a major bout of depression, along with other issues and fears that kept him in a spiritual “prison” most of his adult life. He at least had the sense to go back to church, and I wholeheartedly supported that, but sooner or later it had to come to an end for us; he took his things and left, and I’ve no idea what has happened to him since. THAT right there😕, was the INTERVENTION of the Lord, allowing him to leave, for it was my prayer for over a year after we got together, and seeing all the horror this brought upon himself through alcohol and myself, dealing with much demonic infestation through the intimacy that occurred. 😫
😭Once AGAIN, after he left, I had to ask for forgiveness (which I started doing right
after a few months being with him) from the Lord, and since that time, to this writing, I’ve learned to be CELIBATE—yes, four years now and counting. Even though there was technically a NINTH “season”🌴, which was termed a “long-distance” relationship, it was only for about six months, and between meeting only two times within that time frame, and a handful of calls (mostly all texting) to each other from time to time, all that so-called relationship did, was ready me for what was to be the SEASON that introduced “that man” (that God had Predestined and Ordained for me)to me. I had NO clue what was about to happen! I wasn’t even caring at all about meeting someone else; I was emotionally drained, and crying out to God for help. What God had planned for me, came out of seemingly nowhere, for I never would have expected meeting “that man” in the way, time, or place that I did!
Season TEN ushered him in, meeting him at work, getting to know him as a friend, through many discussions and lunches together, talking about all that we’ve every really wanted in life and love, and as soon as the connection was made between us; as soon as the chemistry was felt and recognized to ﬁnally be REAL and TRUE, it was over. The Lord did exactly what HE intended to do—have us MEET, get to know one another, keep it at the “friendly” level, and had it end before we both could end up ruining things for OUR FUTURE together! That “season” lasted about 7 months, and it was over and GONE…for NOW.
The Lord had OTHER plans for me, a special “Season of Waiting” as I’ve come to call it, that I’ve never allowed myself to have with Him—JUST Him and I, walking together through this life as an adult, and having to learn and re-learn some things that I missed along the way, through my stubbornness, blindness, pride, laziness, emotional turmoils, and all those demonic strongholds that kept me from having the FREEDOM to “just be ME” for a time. The Lord granted me the ELEVENTH “season”, of which I am STILL in right now, and has lasted for almost THREE YEARS now; technically, the third year comes as of December, 2019. I needed this “season” so bad, to cleanse me of all those impurities in my life I allowed to come in; to WASH away so many lost years; to PURIFY my heart, and make me start to serve the Lord WHOLEHEARTEDLY, once He took me “off the shelf” and placed be BACK on the RIGHT PATH He intended for me to be this whole time. I had to be DELIVERED of all the demonic strongholds that I allowed in me (and YES, as a Christian you CAN have demonic strongholds! Don’t fool yourself into thinking you cannot!), and as far as my FINANCES went, I ﬁnally had control of them as well, for the Lord allowed me to take a class at my church to learn exactly what to do with my money, once I was earning enough to make a budget, tithe, pay my bills, and save for my FUTURE life with “that man”. 🥰;❤✝
Spiritually, I feel like I’m 1000% better than I was back in December of 2016. The “load” that is off my mind and heart, is worth my weight in gold! The FREEDOM of being ME is beyond anything I could ever have imagined, and being able to LIVE and MOVE and HAVE MY BEING(Acts 17:28), using the gifts, talents, skills and abilities for the Lord and His Glory and Purpose in my life, is what it’s all been about! I ﬁnally “got” it—it wasn’t about ME; it wasn’t about my love life, or how to make enough money to survive, or just to get married, have a few kids, go to work every day, visit the family, go on vacations, grow old, see our kids grow up, have grandchildren come into our lives, and then eventually, go HOME and meet our Maker. No; it’s MUCH MORE than that; we are God’s WORKMANSHIP, created in Christ Jesus to do GOOD WORKS, which God PREPARED in ADVANCE for us TO do.”(Ephesians 2:10) He HAD a Purpose and Plan for us WAY before the worlds were even formed!! Jeremiah 29:11 SAYS that we have a FUTURE and a HOPE in HIM!
We weren’t just created to be stuck on this planet, left alone to fend for ourselves, make the most of it that we can on our own, and then one day, die and it’s all over. No—it was meant to be MUCH MORE than that, and I found out in THIS VERY SEASON that I’ve been living , MY PURPOSE for why God made me in the FIRST place—because HE LOVED ME!!! He loves ALL of His Creation, but He also knows most of His Creation will never even recognize or acknowledge Him for WHO He is, and WHAT He can do for them, IF they HUMBLED themselves and give their lives over to Him WHOLEHEARTEDLY, as I ﬁnally did! My LIFE is NOT the same as it was—it is SO much better, and so much more fulﬁlling!!! I am still WAITING on the Lord for “that man”, but oh the progress in THAT area just in the last year—amazing!! The Lord God WILL share with each of you His “secrets” (Deut. 29:29), ONLY IF you let Him INTO your LIFE!! It’s got to be a 100% INVOLVEMENT between you and Him, or else it’s NOT going to work!!
This “season” I’m currently in, has been the BEST one YET, and I DO mean, “YET”!!☺😄🥰 I KNOW without a doubt, that the NEXT “season” of my life, which technically will be my TWELFTH season (🧐🤨🤔Hmmm…12, huh?? that number is pretty signiﬁcant in the Bible…🤨🙂 😏lol…), will USHER in “that man” once and for ALL, ﬁnally, never to be MOVED, removed, taken, stolen, etc. from me! He has been speciﬁcally made and designed by the Lord for ME, and I for HIM. Allow God to bring YOU into the “Season” you need to be in, in order to get right with Him, and start LIVING the LIFE He’s called you to live!